Saturday, April 28, 2007

Where IS the LOVE?

Looking at my last month's worth of posts, I am in a Kitty Query Mode. What is it that I am trying to say with this blog? Which parts of me are feeling expressed, and which parts are being stifled?

I think that the Devil is in the splitting of blogs in order to express the multi-facets of our interests and personality. I am very multidimensional in personality and nature. The cat family is known for these characteristics: They trust few, eat where they are fed, they give love on their terms only and they can draw blood in a fraction of a second.

I have reached out to many people in my search for personal health, work satisfaction and creative outlets. When this Kitty starts meowing, growling, and hissing about these topics and the state of the globe, people RUN don't walk away and don't look back.. until they are at a safe distance.

I don't blame them. Wild cats are the Queens of the Jungle. They always have been, and they always will be, if MEN do not kill them into extinction. Certainly, MEN have tried to kill this Black Kitty, literally and figuratively. Several women also. This is the nature of me, the beast, the queen of my jungle.

Having lived many years among humans, I am keenly aware of dynamics that exist between people, and between society and their representatives. I don't feel represented well, by any of my current relationships with people or states. I don't know whether this is because I am ill, or because I am multi-dimensional, or because to put it into Dyer terms - "I have not yet found my match within my relationships, work for money, creative outlets, and my government."

It is for these reasons, that I have left my country, in both spirit and flesh. I intend to become a Canadian. My family knows this. I can no longer support my representatives at a State or Federal Level. I can no longer tolerate it.

I am also a scientist, a mother, and an outsider. There has never been any one place in my life where I fit perfectly. I don't know the answer. I wish I did.

In the past months, I have contacted off line just about every blogger for which I could find an Email address. I offered up myself, to each of them, in support of their charitable mission of blogging for truth, justice, and choice in PHARMA land, and in health services research. My almost 30 years of experience working with the top PHARMA academic partners was essentially of no real interest to anyone, but me of course :)

It is for this reason that I am going to go it alone now. I am not going to hide behind the magnificent ALPHA DOG Bloggers anymore. They are intellectually stimulating, informative, timely, and generally most of them seem like really great people you would love to have to dinner. I just HOPE with all my heart, that they stop fighting. This Kitty tried to run around their legs.. making them chase HER instead of each other, but alas, their fighting for timeliness and ALPHA-ness has driven several very important bloggers out.

I don't think Peter or John or Ed or Jim or Phillip or CP wanted to do this. I don't think the wonderful Health Related or other composite or summary type blogs wanted to do this either. I just think, everyone should take a deep breath... and ask themselves this glorious sunny weekend (ok.. I am in a great place):


1 comment:

Devilbluedress said...

Very interesting post. I'm glad to see that you're finding your voice here. It may be that you want to give your blog an entirely new look and title as it begins to reflect the changes in your own life and your own reflections.

As for my split blogs.. That makes me laugh. There are some things that I wanted to share with others- jokes for instance that I didn't want filling my own blog. And collecting the pictures in one place makes them stronger- for those that are only interested in sexuality. But I'm realizing that even those read me regularly will not check all of my smaller blogs to see what I've done. I need to solve that problem.

It all began because blogger is free but only works within a limited dimension. If I had a "real site" then it would be a multidimensional web page.

Take Care.