Sunday, May 13, 2007

Pharma Giles: Rost for Pfizer CEO...And Black Kitty for Head of HR :)

News Flash! It is not great enough, that Cheney gets accused of being the big JOHN we know he is, but, I get a NEW job :)

This new to-die-for working environment is lead by our fearless CEO - Dr. Peter Rost, Health Care Whistle Blower and the preeminent Clinical Psychiatriy (CP - see sidebar for both blogs)is going to have an office down the hall, where he is in charge of the RCTs for Atypical psychotics. I get to run HR, because, Giles says "I am a people person." Purrrrr. This Kitty likes hearing that, especially these days of intense transition for me in my work.

As head of Human Resources, I would encourage, CONSUMERS of PHARMA products and those who are in recovery, to PLEASE apply. You will be given first priority over those who are too normal. I will also only hire those who are supportive of the NICE model of office management, and are the kind of workers, you would want to go to dinner with.

As for the drug reps, they would have to undergo intensive training by Phillip (Furious Seasons), the Insider, and the brilliant folks on the "Health Care Renewal blog." All reps would be chosen again, from a consumer database. Reps would be required to provide to every practice or institution, a billable charitable service, for each dollar they spend on detailing. In addition, we would recruit consumers, who have EXPERIENCED the medications that they will need to promote. Therefore, I would ONLY hire cancer survivors to promote cancer drugs, HIV/AIDs positive individuals to detail HIV/AIDs drugs, and of course horney old men to market drugs for ED. In fact, all ED drug reps need to be pver 65 years of age.

Now, to hire our marketing firm and lawyers, I will once again only use those companies whose missions align with ours. For example, our company WOULD BAN DTC marketing. Rather they would have free information centers in every city, where medical staff INDEPENDENT of the company could be available to answer the questions of prescribers and consumers.

Lastly, because I am a Kitty, I would hire the Sushi Chef from Nobu to come in every Friday (Fetish dress day) :))

Giles rocks :)


Pharma Giles said...

Wow, the perfect prospectus. I knew I had the right person...

Dr. BK said...

Thanks :)))